I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
