so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
