Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize