whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
