Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
