so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
