I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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