so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
