Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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