Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
