As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
