The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
