I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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