i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Michael Bay diarrhea
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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