so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
