No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
