Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
