I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize