I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
