Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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