I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
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