SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
