I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This is my gift to your gina
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
