i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
True college students do jello shots in the library
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
