he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
