Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize