"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
