Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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