By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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