I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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