smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
