And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
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You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
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You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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