Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
