I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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