It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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