you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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