so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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