i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
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Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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