Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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