Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
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Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
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apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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