check it out our google latitudes are spooning
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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