i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
