we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
