He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
