Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
