the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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