I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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