we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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