Only a mothe r could love this liver
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
