i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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