my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
