he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
