is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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