i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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