why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Oh god it's open bar.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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