so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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