it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
