So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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