Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
