Banned from zoo.
Again?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
