So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
