her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
are you so shy because you have an std?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
