So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
