just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
