Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
